There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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