Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
