she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
