hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
