Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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