i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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