What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
