I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
