I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
