so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
