he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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