In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
