I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
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I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
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We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize