Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
dude. I can hear the air.
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