belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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