I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
