Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
