how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize