My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
