the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
