The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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