i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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