Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
be right there i have to get my cape
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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