If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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