Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I still have a little drunk in my system
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
