I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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