it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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