you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think your dad took our porno
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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