So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
