Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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