Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
it hurts more in the daytime
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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