Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
