And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
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All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
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I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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