I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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