It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
