just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
