Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
People in love make me want to vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize