dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
you would pick up someone in the library
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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