The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
