And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
