I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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