yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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