apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
