Barsexuality is the new black.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
