I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
God I need to hump something, right now.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
