i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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