i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize