My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
