You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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