If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
