thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
