he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
