ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
he thought i was a dude.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
