I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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