You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
