make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
