two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize