eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
