just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
