D3 body, D1 cock
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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