My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
