remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
