He kissed a someone with a penis
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
