She said her name was "party"
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
